Saturday, 28 February 2026

The Dirty Dozen’t

Landing, a little clumsily, beside Cookie’s wagon in his intimidating eagle form, Liga Bur morphs back to his natural and more comfortable Halfling shape. He’d spent a year under Brother Thornberg’s patient guidance, learning to transform into a variety of animals but he realises, even now, that he’ll probably never become fully comfortable with the dramatic shift of his physical capabilities or senses.

After briefly talking with Fortu, he watches the soldiers; Ringo and Chape attempt to scoop up the shredded remains of the Halfling bandit leader; Marvin. He can’t remotely justify it but Liga Bur feels an odd pang of kinship. This middle-aged, grey-haired Halfling, whoever he was, had hated Lord Urdurel with a passion and, from what Fortu had heard, blamed him entirely for the destruction of his borderlands village.

Who was this angry man and why did he run with a dozen Human bandits? Why had he rejected… or perhaps been rejected by his… their own people?

Picking up the steel pole that Fortu had pulled out of the wagon wheel spokes, Liga Bur turns it around in his stubby but strong fingers. It’s more than just a crude rod of metal, it has a hook like shape on one end and a stirrup shaped triangle at the other. Considering the reasoning of its construction, Liga Bur mentally puts himself in the position Marvin would have found himself in.

He must have been hiding in a concealed ditch between the ruts in the cambered road when Cookie’s wagon had slowed for Banaal to examine the felled tree, then using the hooked end of the steel pole, caught the underside of the wagon and then used the stirrup end to brace his foot to help him clamber up as he was dragged along. Then the sneaky stowaway must have just waited until they’d reached the prearranged ambush point before thrusting the main shaft of the pole through the spokes of the front, right wagon wheel.

Whoever this Marvin was, he’d obviously been clever, tough and charismatic enough to command his twelve Human underlings, but his anger (and recklessness) was patently symptomatic of a dark past. 

As for his, so called; ‘Dirty Dozen’, they mostly went down without much of a fight. Liga Bur himself, while in eagle form, had ensnared over half the horses (and therefore the men riding them) with his ‘enchanted grass’, leaving the remaining five bandits to ride on towards the wagon. 

Once there, despite their original number advantage, they were easily overpowered by the armoured Dwarf; Banaal and his own massive (and also) armoured hound; Mir Hundur.

Even now, despite spending every single day with him, since he was a pup, plus the mystical Druidic bond they now share, Liga Bur was still surprised how his faithful hound; Mir Hundur was able to slaughter a large horse in just two big bites!

Finally, Fortu’s performative skewering of their Halfling leader crushed any residual bravado they had left and all eleven of the surviving bandits surrendered instantly.

The Party gain two (Halfling sized/non-glowing) +2 daggers.

Wednesday, 25 February 2026

Beauty and the Beast

“This isn’t what we agreed upon. You’re pushing him too fast and far too hard.”

The speaker is an impossibly tall and heroic looking woman. Her perfect skin is tanned and her toned muscles are prominent, yet somehow don’t detract from her pleasingly feminine form.

Opposite from her, in more ways than one, the barbaric Erythnul grins infuriatingly, his mouth ever moving and changing, yet he says nothing.

The blue-eyed, golden haired woman shifts slightly in her stance, a large shield strapped to her left arm and a huge bastard-sword held relaxed in her right hand.

“Your gnarled thumb is pressing down too heavily on the scales.”

Her densely muscled opponent finally deigns to speak. His growly voice sounds like he’s simultaneously gargling with blood and broken glass.

“Do you still not understand who I am? I am the god of slaughter. The god of monsters and savages! Why would you imagine I’d allow myself to be shackled by the constraints of your ‘honour and justice’?”

The divine; Mayaheine Attempts, heroically, to remain calm.

“That’s the entire point. This poor, tortured man is at a crossroads. A crossroads that will shape his world for centuries to come! He can lose himself to the chaos and evil that are in his blood or he can choose to rise above his terrible past. He could be so much more than the product of the ‘life or death’  gladiator pit.”

Erythnul’s expression changes, along with the all the other features on his face.

“I took on your challenge, already assured of victory. His tainted blood doomed him from the start. You thought his Father’s bloodline could save him? You’re just an idealistic fool. Even if he’d received the love of his parents, his inherent nature would have led him down the same dark path.”

Sunshine engulfing her and illuminating her burnished armour, the younger goddess sets her beautiful mouth in a tight line.

“You’re wrong. There is a tipping-point coming, where he’ll learn the truth and when that moment comes, I’ll still be there to steer him toward the light!”

The golden goddess; Mayaheine pauses for a moment, before adding.

“And keep your filthy claws off the dog. Touch her again and our pact is over.”

Saturday, 21 February 2026

S-Words

With a sudden lurch to the right, Cookie’s massive wagon comes to an abrupt halt and Rifkin looks to the two soldiers sitting with him in the back.

“What’s happening?”

Chape and Locket don’t answer though and instead, climb out of the open exit without a word. They’d all been on high alert ever since the suspiciously fallen tree about a mile back.

Steeling himself, the Bard clambers out behind them and peeks around the corner of the wagon. There’s an angry voice he doesn’t recognise, shouting near the front but more concerning are the dozen or so armed horse riders galloping towards them. Gritting his teeth, Rifkin mutters to himself under his breath.

“This is it. This is the moment I prove myself more than just a worthless minstrel.”

Drawing Spider Murphy’s magical short sword, Rifkin feels a strange sensation creeping up his wrist, through his arm, all the way to the top of his neck, where it joins with the base of his head and he hears another strange voice. A scratching, metallic whisper of a voice. 

Rifkin stops abruptly, mid-flourish and mentally strains to listen…

“Vampiric touch!”

Lowering the weapon with an involuntary shudder, the Demi-Elven Bard stares wide-eyed at the sinisterly gleaming blade now limply pointing toward the ground.

He’d had his fill of ‘intelligent’ swords, after Arowe’s Dryad-hating, magical rapier; Arogon Feybane

It had been fortunate that his Elven friend had been strong willed enough to resist its full influence, but the sword had still tricked them into attacking the beautiful Dryad guardians of Estrid’s mystical glade.

Seconds crawl by while Rifkin stares at the (apparently) inanimate sword held loosely in his hand, before he tentatively raises it up again in his pale fist and tries to ‘listen’ again to the, potentially intelligent, magical short-sword.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be too terrible? After all, wasn’t the recently staff bound, morally ambiguous, fire elemental; Dijonn, now a staunch ally to Liga Bur?

Another few seconds tick by and nothing immediately happens, but then the electrical itch travels up his arm again and he ‘hears’ the same words repeated just as before…

“Vampiric touch!”

Sunday, 15 February 2026

The Time of March

We ended the last session at the heavily fortified outer wall of the towering and architecturally striking, Capital city of Cottis. You’d just overcome the psychotic Halfling bandit; Marvin and captured eleven of his ‘Dirty dozen’ plus all of their horses. Now (finally) you’re about to meet the legendary (near) centenarian; Lord Urdurel himself.

We’ve done February, so here are some possible (currently/semi-pathetically all clear for me) 9am weekend game dates for March

Sunday the 1st

Saturday the 7th

Sunday the 8th

Saturday the 14th

Sunday the 15th

Saturday the 21st

Sunday the 22nd

Saturday the 28th


Sunday the 29th

Edit: Despite Scott and Assif going off on their jollidays, I think we’ve found a mutually convenient date. Sunday the 8th of March. Just over a week for me to write something fun and/or useful… See you all at 9am!

Saturday, 14 February 2026

Dwunken Drarves

Feeling like squat giants, sitting in the low ceilinged Halfling tavern; ‘The Short Stack’, the Dwarven blacksmith; Bunkum and missionary; Vinculum share the last dregs of a precious keg of specially imported, double-brewed ‘Rock-bottom’, Dwarven beer.

The Humans of Thornflek are, mostly, good-natured, tolerable and decent customers but the affable Halflings, in their ‘quarter’ of the town, make everyone feel welcome.

The barrel-chested Bunkum, smooths down his bushy red beard and burps, before raising his slopping tankard.

“It was a great shame that young Banaal could only stay with us for a single night. I’d’ve liked to hear more of his fantastical journey and, more importantly, of what’s happening back home, under Mount Verloren.”

The equally tipsy, Dwarven priest; Vinculum raises his half-full tankard in response.

“Considering his youth, I was impressed by his level of enlightenment. He’s barely half my age but his divine connection to Moradin already far outstrips my own.”

Bunkum, the defacto leader of Thornflek’s small Dwarven enclave, leans forward conspiratorially and whispers.

“From what I understand, they’ll need to be. War is definitely coming and the enemy won’t be fragile Humans or Elves.”

The Dwarven cleric sags a little on his stool, as he clunks his, now emptied, tankard down.

“But what can a single war-priest of Moradin, no matter how gifted, do against the legion of the damned?”

Sunday, 8 February 2026

Gold, Gems and Magic Stuff

Lots of gold was made by selling the useless (for you) but valuable loot that Rifkin has been lugging around and then immediately spent by buying magic potions, scrolls and one magic ring last session. While trying to keep track of it, I may have let something slip. Please have a look and let me know if I’m at all mistaken.

Current character wealth (including recently purchased personal magical items and equipment).

Banaal
Gold: 863gp
10 gems (worth 100gp each) 
4 gems (worth 50gp each)
Potion of Jump x3
Potion of Fly
Scroll of Water Breathing
Scroll of Wind Wall

Fortu
Gold: 1194gp  
6 gems (worth 25gp each)
Potion of Fly
Potion of Cure Light Wounds x5
Potion of Protection from Evil

Liga Bur: 
Gold: 18gp (Owes Rifkin 350gp)
Ring of Protection +1
Potion of Cure Light Wounds x2

Rifkin
Gold: 637gp  
7 gems (worth 25gp each)

Saturday, 7 February 2026

Nonogonagal’s Magical Emporium

Sweeping the accidentally spilled coins on the floor into a few unequal piles, the Wizard’s spotty apprentice; Mouton sighs squeakily.

“That Halfling was a bit cheeky, wasn’t he? Asking for a 25% discount for that 2,000gp Ring of Protection!”

The older, mostly retired Wizard, turns creakily around with a pained expression etched onto his face.

“Please don’t use that ridiculous ‘modern’ system of yours here; just say ‘a quarter off’. Also, cheekiness is baked into their breed. You can’t blame a Halfling for their intrinsically funny nature.”

Pulling his, too long, lilac coloured robe sleeves back up over his knuckles for the umpteenth time, the apprentice Wizard raises an eyebrow.

“He didn’t seem that ‘funny’ to me and his face looked like it’d been repeatedly used as a football during his, obviously rough, childhood.”

The tall, purple clad; Nonogonagal frowns.

“True; he was ‘funny’ but just not in the usual Halfling sense and his ‘cloth’ surprisingly revealed him to be of the Druidic faith.”

Rex, the heavily armoured guard by the door, is usually a man of very few words, but he adds a few more of them now.

“They were ALL funny, but ‘funny’ in the weird sense, not funny ‘Ha Ha’.

The small owl and the tatty Raven on the counter, add their voices to the conversation. Heralding his comment with a throaty cough, the darker bird caws.

“I’ve seen weirder!”

After which, wide eyed, the small owl asks.

“Whoo?”

The Dirty Dozen’t

Landing, a little clumsily, beside Cookie’s wagon in his intimidating eagle form, Liga Bur  morphs back to his natural and more comfortable...