Saturday, 20 December 2025

Fantasy Forensics

Raking through the burnt-out, but still hot, debris with his steel-capped toe, Captain Wimsey tries to piece together all the evidence he’d uncovered of the night before. Six, or possibly more, agents of a Witches coven had prepared a murderous arson attack against Lord Urdurel’s group of adventurers, while they slept inside.

Probably disguised as stable-hands or by stealthily climbing in through the upper hayloft window, one or more of the Assassins had entered the barn in the early evening, while only the wagoneer; Cookie and one or two of the triplet soldiers were present. They had then, somehow unnoticed, managed to drain the open-topped barrel of water and stealthily pull up the hinged loft ladder.

While that had been happening, a note found in the pocket of the dead ostler, indicated that he’d been lured out of the barn and back to his nearby cottage, under false pretences. Once there, he’d been murdered by the Assassins and his paddock padlock keys stolen.

Then the Assassins had simply waited until the middle of the night, once they were sure the majority of their targets were asleep, before actioning their plan.

Two of Captain Wimsey’s men had been killed while patrolling the surrounding area during the night shift but, judging by the location of their wounds, neither man had even seen their attackers coming. They were both stealthily stabbed from behind, before they could even shout a warning to each other, or to alert the adventurers inside.

After that, two of the Assassins rescaled the back of the barn and climbed in through the open upper level hayloft door, with flaming torches clenched between their teeth. Simultaneously, two more of them were silently chaining up the two doors from the outside and soaking them, and the outer walls in oil, before setting them alight.

The remaining two Assassins had stationed themselves behind the cover of the outer water-trough, with crossbows and poisoned bolts ready to catch anyone managing to break out of either the small or large front doors.

Next, the sleeping adventurers awoke. Probably alerted by one of them staying awake on watch duty and/or the smell of burning oil and smoke. Two of them had previously noticed the stored-away ladder and manhandled it back into position to sleep upstairs in the hayloft, while the others slept below on their bedrolls, around their large wagon.

Then things become even more bizarre. A large section of the lower wooden wall, inexplicably failed to burn down completely and, weirdly, both the two front doors as well, despite the oily residue still present. They still stand; two pointless doorways to the burnt down barn. Distant witnesses also reported seeing flashes of lightning, despite there being nary a cloud in the night sky. Sorcery? The garrison clerk did report that there were two divine spell-casters in the group. Whatever did occur though, it went very badly for the six Assassins. All dead, either sliced open by bladed weapon or fried crisp by that very lightning.

Walking out through the back of the blackened and skeletal remains of the big barn, Captain Wimsey turns a slow circle. Three men fell here but only one survived the twenty-foot drop. By the look of the two remaining, twisted corpses, they’d been killed before they fell.

Considering how fast the fire had spread, he’s surprised the adventurers managed to escape the flames and amazed that they’d all delayed long enough to free the horses too.

Apparently, the adventurers also refused the rewards offered by the owners of the other stabled horses they’d rescued and instead donated that, and the gold they’d found on the dead Assassins to help rebuild the barn. Only fifty gold pieces; not enough to pay for a whole new build but still generous. A hard to believe gesture, considering the reputation that had proceeded them.

Wednesday, 17 December 2025

Spare the Horses

In the blazing light of the burning building, while Cookie fusses over her two massive, but trembling, shire-horses and the Dwarf Banaal heals the burns of the injured ones, Locket looks over to his brothers.
“One dead ostler, two dead town guards, six dead assassins, and a, soon to be, razed to the ground barn.”
Chape responds with a shrug.
“It could’ve been worse. The adventurers helped us save all the horses, Cookie’s wagon’s hardly singed and all six of the gourd/barrels are safe and sound.”
It’s Ringo who considers the opposite viewpoint.
“But why are those assassins being so persistent? Why are the adventurers so important?!”
When the three Brothers volunteered for this mission, not one of them had considered it to be a dangerous task. Captain DeLeón had literally described it as just a ‘Simple babysitting job’.
Now though, with the obvious escalation of the Witches coven and still three days and one town to get through before completing their duty, each of the triplets feel the sinking dread of what may yet come…

Sunday, 14 December 2025

Barn Burning Experience

As Scott pleaded mid-session, I checked everyone’s Orange Inn posts, and those in addition to the recent Assassination attempts, pushes you all up and over the line.

Congratulations everyone; you can all rise up to 8th level!

Fortu: 29,023xp (8th!) 

Banal: 28,398xp (8th!)

Liga Bur: 28,101xp (8th!)

Rifkin: 17,525xp (6th)

Triplets: 6,704xp (4th)

Modify your character sheets with new skills, HPs and class abilities etc. Also everyone enjoy that sweet bonus attribute point! Let me know where you stick it.

(David, this is your opportunity to check if Fortu’s magic +1 Strength medallion works in conjunction with his recently acquired +2 Gauntlets of Ogre power.  If not, take a point of strength and get him to 18 Strength as a base.)

Levels
1 : 0xp
2 : 1000xp
3 : 3000xp
4 : 6000xp
5 : 10,000xp
6 : 15,000xp
7 : 21,000xp
8 : 28,000xp
9 : 36,000xp
10: 45,000xp

Saturday, 13 December 2025

The Scum that we Murder

The six men of the FarHaven garrison watch silently as the bloodsoaked Fortu and the Halfling; Liga Bur leave the terrified, supposed spy in their custody by the big wagon in the barn. After a few seconds, one of them gathers the confidence to speak.

“So… Did that big guy just do a murder?”

One of the others slowly nods his head.

“I think so. In the middle of the tavern. During the lunchtime rush period.”

The Sergeant coughs, both to clear his throat and reclaim some semblance of authority.

“No. The strange Halfling said that the two travellers pulled out their knives and drew first blood.”

The firsts soldier disagrees though.

“A fully armoured guy throws a punch with a mailed fist at two men sitting down in a bar, minding their own business. So what that he missed; wouldn’t you try to defend yourself?”

The Sergeant shakes his head and indicates the tied up survivor.

“I agree that Fortu’s actions seemed deliberately inflammatory and extremely… violent, but his instincts were right. This guy just confessed that they were indeed, spying on the adventurers.”

Another of the soldiers adds his voice to the conversation.

“So, not murder then?”

Taking in all the faces of the men in his command, the Sergeant makes his decision.

“We were placed here to oversee the construction of a beacon tower, make our presence felt and assist these adventurers, if they happpened to pass by this way. I’m not going to be the one who disobeyed Lord Urdurel’s directive, regardless of the adventurers’ actions.”

The six uniformed men all visibly relax, before the Sergeant speaks again.

“So, tomorrow morning, we’ll accompany the adventurers to this apparent signal point and allow the spy; Langet to post a false missive to his mysterious masters. Until then, let’s just get this man locked up in the garrison cell.”

As they leave, a small, bright-eyed, calico cat remains silent and hidden in the shadows for a few moments, before slinking casually out, unseen, through a narrow gap between two loose boards.

Wednesday, 10 December 2025

Filthy Rich & Banaal-Flap

Tracking arrows is hard enough, without having to worry about every single coin, so here’s the current individual gold and gem status, including new and old (for the last time) henchmen:

Fortu: Gold: 1,005gp + 6 gems (worth 25gp each)

Liga Bur: Gold: 930gp + 6 gems (worth 25gp each)

Rifkin: Gold: 372gp + 7 gems (worth 25gp each)

Henshaw: Gold: 9gp

Barbella: Gold: 473gp + 28 gems (worth 25gp each)

Doberman: Gold: 370gp + 2 gems (worth 25gp each)

Locket: Gold: 10gp

Chape: Gold: 10gp

Ringo: Gold: 10gp (+ 40gp of the Lord’s Guard’s money)

Cookie: Gold: 20gp

Banaal: -10gp bribe/damages paid to the innkeeper of the ‘Way-Out Inn’.

I mention this now, as the Party is currently in a fair sized village and heading towards a large town and then a city and, therefore has the rare (in my campaigns) opportunity to buy some stuff, including (possibly) magical potions etc!

Banaal was the only Party member to exploit this so far, when he replaced some of his used up expendables in Scarborough.

In answer to your unasked questions, yes Henshaw was honest and paid back his debts to Rifkin and Fortu in full. Doberman managed not to lose the majority of his money up his nose or in his ears and yes; Barbella was indeed a dirty thief, helping himself to extra gems and coins, whenever he got the chance.

I’ve actually got no idea what ‘starting money’ the Dwarven priest; Banaal currently has left over from his initial shop, recent shop and 10gp bar-room bribe. Fancy letting me know Assif and I’ll try to keep track of it for you?

Also, 50 gp weighs 1lb for encumbrance (20lbs+ worth of gold for Richie-rich Fortu) but fortunately, you currently have two horses, a mule, a riding dog and a two cart-horse-powered (Burt & Ernie) wagon.

Saturday, 6 December 2025

The Brutalist

Fingers frozen mid-chord, Rifkin watches in horror as one of the men facing Fortu, flops to the floor in bloody, bisected pieces. A knife in each of his, now entirely separated, hands.

He’d obviously been a villain; his words and actions had clearly demonstrated that, but still…

Fortu simply hadn’t liked the way they were dressed or how they were sitting and confronted them on a mere suspicion. The, potentially paranoid, suspicion that these two men were working against him. A reasonable man might have tried to subtly question them. A logical man might have restrained himself from trying to punch them with a mailed fist in a public bar. A sane man wouldn’t have drawn his enormous Bastard sword and cleaved the first of them in two!

The second of the men surrendered immediately. Rifkin couldn’t blame him. Fortu had cut through his partner as if he’d been made of butter!

Then, ignoring all the screaming locals and a hissing cat, Fortu had then grabbed the remaining man by his throat and marched him to the town stables, where several soldiers of the FarHaven garrison were currently guarding Cookie’s wagon and Estrid’s barrels.

The Dwarf; Banaal had tried to pacify the barkeep with a generous (but not ostentatious) bribe, while the pragmatic Liga Bur had hurried out after Fortu to help calm/explain the situation to the hamlet guards.

Blinking, Rifkin attempts to regain control of his rapid breathing. 

Since joining this ragtag group over half-a-year ago, he’d seen many terrible, terrifying things. Brutal violence and graphic injury, but this?

Did it matter that Fortu’s confrontational instincts had been absolutely correct? Is it justifiable to use extreme and deadly force against evil people or is it somehow, equally evil?

Despite himself, Rifkin feels the beginnings of a song composing itself in his head and he whispers the title out loud…

“The Butcher of FarHaven.”

Tuesday, 2 December 2025

From Scrapper to Mapper

Turning over the smoothed down but formally crumpled sheet of parchment, Captain DeLeón traces his elegantly manicured fingertip over the crudely hand-drawn map.

Bitboh woodScarp BurrowThe Tannery.”

The spelling is shaky and the penmanship appalling, but the map is still interesting, if not entirely accurate. Rather than miles, the distances seem to be measured in something called ‘horse-ride-days’. A few of the scribbled annotations like; ‘Rattman’ are less fun though, as beside Scarp Burrow, the mapper’s scrawled; ‘Captain De Liar!’ and ‘Posho De-Dick-face’.

Pushing aside his annoyance at the unsubtle slurs, he’s curious why the amateur cartographer had written Scarp Burrow rather than the commonly accepted Scarborough though, as no one’s referred to this village by its original name for almost thirty years.

The map is freshly drawn, so what does it mean?

Unfortunately, Captain DeLeón‘s men had confirmed that, whoever made the map, left with the adventurer group. It certainly wasn’t any of his men or Cookie the wagoneer and it was highly unlikely that the educated Dwarf; Banaal or the urbane ‘Slightly-Elf’; Rifkin had anything to do with it. That left the earthy smelling, cauliflower-eared Halfling and the scar-faced, heavily-armoured Human Gladiator. Considering the last conversation he’d had with them, his money was on Fortu.

Glancing down at the map again, Captain DeLeón finds himself suddenly sniggering, despite his earlier annoyance, as he notices the arrow pointing East towards…

‘FART-Haven!’

Fantasy Forensics

Raking through the burnt-out, but still hot, debris with his steel-capped toe, Captain Wimsey tries to piece together all the evidence he’d...